Flaunting purity rings unnecessary

By Hannah Rogers

Published: Friday, October 29, 2010

Updated: Saturday, October 30, 2010

Area 51, a faked moon landing, the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot — everyone has a conspiracy theory. My theory is that purity rings are simply a way for Christian book and jewelry stores to make money.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a free-loving, communist atheist (not that people don't have a right to be so if they chose). I just don't understand what wearing a ring has to do with someone's choice to practice abstinence.

Once some girls (and on occasion boys) reach fifth or sixth grade, their parents slap rings on their fingers. When starting middle school, most people don't know who they are or have any idea how they truly feel about sex.

And before publicly signing themselves up for a life of chastity, students should at least be allowed to understand and choose their own lifestyle.

Churches, on occasion, hold purity ring ceremonies after abstinence studies. If someone doesn't want a purity ring, for whatever reason, it won't look good. So, even if someone simply hates wearing rings, he or she will look trashy in the eyes of the church.

And students who may not agree with the study at the end, who don't want to look bad, have to accept a ring with everyone else to keep up appearances.

And what if someone wants to be abstinent, chooses to wear a purity ring and then somewhere down the road, for one reason or the other, makes a mistake and regrets it? Or what if the person simply decides to change that lifestyle choice?

If the person keeps the ring on, he or she is lying. But if it is taken off, other people will wonder why and find out what happened.

Yeah, that's the kind of awkward position I want to be in over a piece of jewelry.

Let me be clear, it's not what purity rings stand for that I find so abhorrent; I don't find remaining abstinent until marriage a repulsive concept by any means. The aspect of the rings that bothers me is how they're used by many of the people who wear them.

Parents want to control their children's sexual activity and somehow think a ring is the same as a chastity belt. Pastors and youth ministers at least are comforted by the fact that the students have visual reminders of abstinence vows. Wearers of purity rings use them as a way of proclaiming how holy they are and the importance of true love waits.

News flash: You're going to have sex if you want to, no matter what jewelry is on your finger. And, somehow magically, those who don't wear purity rings manage not to jump in bed with every single person on the street. It's about personal ethics, not fashion choices.

I'm sure there are people who wear and promote purity rings for respectable reasons, but most of the people I have encountered cannot provide clear, well-thought out logic for their accessory choice.

I know people with purity rings worth hundreds of dollars, who mainly wanted them because they were pretty.

Bible studies about sex suggest buying rings — which, to me, simply sounds like cross-promotion for Christian bookstores. I know the stores are only providing a product consumers demand, but who convinced teenagers driven to stay abstinent into believing they needed a ring in the first place?What does a purity ring do for the wearer except flaunt his or her sexual choices in other people's faces?

If someone is set on waiting until marriage to have sex, his or her actions will eventually inform surrounding people. Actions, after all, speak more loudly than words and definitely speak more loudly than shiny objects.

Hannah Rogers is the assistant news editor of The Reflector. She can be contacted at opinion@reflector.msstate.edu.

Comments

6 comments
Alice Lagner
Tue Nov 16 2010 16:40
A wedding ring is not a reminder to not cheat on your spouse. If you need a physical reminder not to cheat, you should reconsider your marriage.
Wedding rings show people that they are 'taken.' When you are on the prowl, so to say, for a potential life mate, one usually wonders if a certain man or woman is "on the market."
I never, on the other hand, look at someone and think, "I wonder if they have sex." That is superfluous and, honestly, something I don't want to think about. If you need a physical reminder to stay true to your morals, you should reconsider your beliefs.
Alan K
Fri Nov 5 2010 10:41
Don't get me wrong - I believe that every one should abstain from sex until married. However, I do not agree that the purpose of a wedding band is to remind the wearer that they cannot have sex with anyone other than their spouse. If that's as deep as marriage vows goes than don't even bother getting married, it will undoubtedly end in divorce.
Chelsea Burks
Fri Nov 5 2010 09:45
do you suggest not wearing wedding bands? they are worn for a very similar purpose. If a married man or woman is tempted to have sex with another , that ring is there to remind them of the commitment/covenant he or she made to their spouse. its just that teens and college students haven't met their husband or wife yet but still want to make a commitment to them. Everyone is someone's husband or wife even if they aren't married yet and respecting your future spouse is not a bad idea.
Alysia Cummings
Thu Nov 4 2010 16:15
I personally do not own a purity ring, and I must add that all of my years going to church, I have never been "forced" to wear a purity ring. In fact, I have never been to a church that has "purity ring ceremonies" or requires a teen to wear one or even mentioned them. Also, I do not notice anyone wearing purity rings. I just recently found out (because I was talking about this article) that my roommate has one. I think purity rings are a good idea because they do remind teens of their commitment to themselves and God. Yes, if the teen decides they want to have sex, nothing is going to stop them. But the ring is there to represent the commitment the teen made, and to maybe cause them to have second thoughts about having sex before marriage. May I ask why people wear crosses? Is it because they want to flaunt that they have been saved? Or is it because they want to be reminded they are saved? I personally wear my cross to help me remember that God is always with me. I do not wear it to rub it in other people's faces that I am in fact saved and am going to heaven. Although there are some who do use purity rings in the manner you discuss, I was offended (and I don't even own a purity ring) that you generalized everyone who wears them into this category.
Jennifer McCoy
Fri Oct 29 2010 16:48
But unfortunately there are people out there that do wear* them for that reason, and it's probably those people for which you felt lead to state your opinion.
Jennifer McCoy
Fri Oct 29 2010 16:46
I do agree with much of your article, however there are a few points with which I don't agree. Wearing my ring isn't a "Hey, look at me and the decision I've made" - it's a reminder for myself of the commitment I've made to myself, God, and my future spouse. 99% of the people I encounter everyday don't comment on it and probably don't even notice it at all, and that's okay with me; I don't wear it for them. You are right in that the ring itself is not what keeps my commitment in tact, but having it and wearing it does make my commitment that much more concrete and more than just something I've said I'm going to do. If I'm asked about, yes I do explain what it means and why I wear it, but it's not something I go waving in front of people's faces as a "Look what a good person I am, and look at the good choices I'm making." But unfortunately there are people out there that do where them for that reason, and it's probably those people for which you felt lead to state your opinion.
View full site